WHEN MURDER IS DISGUISED AS SUICIDE

The case for domestic violence-related suicide

Steven Keogh is a former Scotland Yard Homicide Detective Inspector.  For those of you who love to understand the psychology of criminals, he has just published a short online book about why people kill (Understanding Why People Kill (fliphtml5.com)).

It is fascinating reading. The media, politicians, law enforcement, and even people who work in the domestic violence space like to make out that the reason men kill their intimate partners is complex, and hence the solutions are equally as complex.  However, as Steven eloquently points out, it is actually very simple.

There are three reasons why people kill.

1. They are triggered emotionally;

2. They want to feel something emotionally; or

3. They gain something.

Intimate or ex-intimate partners who murder most commonly fit into category 2 (and sometimes category 3).

So, what is it they want to feel?

Power and control.

Suicide goes against the most basic of human instincts. To stay alive. Those of us who work with people who have a terminal disease know, they will do virtually anything to stay alive, even for just a little bit longer. The very act of ending your own life requires the abolition of this most basic human instinct.

For some people mental health conditions, particularly depression, play a role in suicide. But victims of domestic violence are not mentally unwell, traumatised yes, but not mentally unwell. They are in fact quite probably the most resilient and strong women you can ever hope to meet.

Yet the WA Ombudsmen’s report showed that 50% of women who suicide are known victims of domestic violence. So why do women who are victims of domestic violence end their own lives in such great numbers?

Coercive control is at its very foundation, an act of power and control. It results in the brainwashing of the victim, overriding their own intuition and judgment, so the only reality they know is the one encoded to them by the perpetrator. The perpetrator reduces their victim’s self-worth, convincing them there is no viable way out, and thus they are rendered helpless and hopeless.

Having the power to control someone to the extent that they go against their basic human instinct to live, is the jewel in the crown. It is the ultimate reward.

In this context, it is quite easy to understand how the victim ending their own life IS THE GOAL of the violence and not just a random act. The perpetrator does not need to carry out the crime of murder, physically, themselves. Their relentless abuse, threats to kill, to end their own life, to take the children, to leave them destitute, that no one will believe them, suicide encouragement…these are tools used to override a victim’s senses. To leave them with, what they believe is, no other way out.

Make no mistake domestic violence-related suicide is murder using the victim’s own hands as the murder weapon. And it needs to be criminally recognised as such.

Please note: I am not a psychologist, counselor, or therapist. I do not work in the area of domestic abuse. 𝓘 𝓪𝓶 𝓼𝓲𝓶𝓹𝓵𝔂 𝓪 𝓶𝓸𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻 𝔀𝓱𝓸 𝓲𝓼 𝓽𝓮𝓵𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓱𝓮𝓻 𝓭𝓪𝓾𝓰𝓱𝓽𝓮𝓻’𝓼 𝓼𝓽𝓸𝓻𝔂.